that is the only word that can describe how i feel. ok...how i've felt for the past 2+ weeks now. it has a lot to do with my previous post. after i posted last, ive been more focused than ever on who my God is to me. in this past week i realized how peaceful it is to just sit back in the silence of His presence. God is just making Himself more visible to me and its in just the right way. He knows i need His embrace and recently that embrace has come in the midst of deep silence while resting in His presence. im not one for silence. matter of fact, i cant stand it. im actually typing this blog right now with music on. i dont know why but it helps me to organize my thoughts. Monday morning in prayer the music turned off and everyone stopped praying. we all just sat there in pure silence. after a few minutes Tepy asked who disliked silence. i said "i did...until this morning."
im pretty sure that God is guiding me down this road where He just wants me to be silent. no noise. no talking. just listening. so this past week in prayer ive just been listening. i dont think ive ever pictured myself not singing a song that i know. its hard for me but when theres something else in your focus than just singing...it doesnt really matter.
less talking/noise & more listening/understanding.
i challenge you to try it! :)
~Kali~
it's more than just a song...it's the truth. this past weekend i have felt the love of my God more than ever. we held the NNED youth convention @ C3 & it was amazing. Pastor Micheal Fernandez was the speaker & 11th hour led worship. even though i was helping out with either cameras or lighting during all the sessions i was still being engulfed in the Father's love. i have this hunger inside of me that craves for more & more. i have been this way for quite some time now but ever since MC conference that hunger has just continued to grow. no matter how hard i pray or how loud i sing this hunger/thirst will not be quenched. during convention i was seeing a lot of the teens receive the gift of the Holy Spirit and it delighted my heart. i remember when that happened to me and i wouldnt give it up for anything. at times i feel as though i have forgotten or lost the gift but i know its not true. He is never gonna leave me or forsake me. i know that for a fact!last night @ Tehillah we had a time of reflection after Dave's message. i just sat there and well..."reflected." i just wanted to be embraced by my Father and sit at His feet while being wrapped in His arms. i walked over & sat behind Mrs. Tammy and just sat there with my head on her back. i peacefully sat there and i felt loved. i felt my Father wrap his arms around me and hold me tight. you see, its times like that when i just dont wanna let go. its times like that when alls i can do is sit back, let Him hold me, & let go. i can let go of everything that is holding me back. the main thing: my emotions. i dont think i ever cry more than when He's got me safe in His arms. let alone when i know it! my prayer is that all of my days would be laced with His love. i dont want to spend any time at all outside of His reach. i want to continue to hunger/thirst for more & more of His love. i also want Him to continually hold me. oh how i long for His embrace.
--> craving more of Him<--
~Kali~
- "Dearly Loved" :Jimmy Needham
- "The More I Seek You" :Kari Jobe
- "Wrap Me In Your Arms" :Micheal Gungor Band
