much love
~Kali
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Temporarily Disconnected
much love
~Kali
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
What a Week!
-->hello...ok so i realized something the other day. i realized that it's been a while since i blogged. then, today i was chatting with someone who pretty much yelled at me for not updating my blog!! i understand i haven't been majorly on top of things but i'm trying. i think of ideas and then i get busy and forget or i just plain old forget.
-->Sunday was the big game! the NFC championship game, the last game before the SuperBowl! well, the Eagles blew it...yes, they lost...TO THE CARDINALS!! (whats up with that?) before the game started, my aunt and uncle sent me the following picture:
-->these girls are my two youngest cousins. The cheerleading outfit that Bella is wearing is what i gave her for Christmas...doesn't she look soooo cute?!? don't they both look sooo cute?!?!
-->anywayz, i've been neglecting the blog for no particular reason, i've just been a little busy...on monday morning i had oral surgery. i know it sounds gross but you really have no idea...so i'll tell you!
-->It all started in November of '07 when i got my last baby tooth pulled. my orthodontist said it had to be done so that adult tooth could come in and we could continue with the tightening of my braces. So, i went through with it. They pulled the tooth and after a year, the tooth never came down an inch, not even a centimeter! This whole oral surgery situation was totally stressful. I went from having to get a tooth pulled to having to get my gum cut open. needless to say, i got my gum cut so they could put a bracket on that tooth. Then, they put a chain on that bracket and now my orthodontist has to attach the chain to my brace wire.
-->during the procedure, they put me to sleep AND put novacaine around the surgical area. i dont remember much after i woke up. i dont even remember walking out to the car. when i got home, i layed on the couch and fell asleep until about 1030a. i was semi-out of it all day. the pain really didn't set in until about 12p. by that time i had taken my prescribed pain meds. my gums were still bleeding at 130p and im glad they stopped then. the picture below was taken the day after the operation...it's pretty small in case you don't wanna look.
-->they gave me Vicoden for the pain and it made me feel not like myself. i was drowsy and majorly out of it!! the last time i took them was Tuesday night and i've been taking Tylenol and Ibuprofen since. the swelling goes back and forth and the pain throbs every once in a while, especially when i laugh/smile. but besides that, i seem to be doing okay. tonight the chain unraveled and is now hanging from my top gums. which is sooo annoying, if i may say so myself! there's a picture of that below this paragraph.
-->Sunday was the big game! the NFC championship game, the last game before the SuperBowl! well, the Eagles blew it...yes, they lost...TO THE CARDINALS!! (whats up with that?) before the game started, my aunt and uncle sent me the following picture:
(^Leah & Bella^)
-->these girls are my two youngest cousins. The cheerleading outfit that Bella is wearing is what i gave her for Christmas...doesn't she look soooo cute?!? don't they both look sooo cute?!?!
-->anywayz, i've been neglecting the blog for no particular reason, i've just been a little busy...on monday morning i had oral surgery. i know it sounds gross but you really have no idea...so i'll tell you!
-->It all started in November of '07 when i got my last baby tooth pulled. my orthodontist said it had to be done so that adult tooth could come in and we could continue with the tightening of my braces. So, i went through with it. They pulled the tooth and after a year, the tooth never came down an inch, not even a centimeter! This whole oral surgery situation was totally stressful. I went from having to get a tooth pulled to having to get my gum cut open. needless to say, i got my gum cut so they could put a bracket on that tooth. Then, they put a chain on that bracket and now my orthodontist has to attach the chain to my brace wire.
-->during the procedure, they put me to sleep AND put novacaine around the surgical area. i dont remember much after i woke up. i dont even remember walking out to the car. when i got home, i layed on the couch and fell asleep until about 1030a. i was semi-out of it all day. the pain really didn't set in until about 12p. by that time i had taken my prescribed pain meds. my gums were still bleeding at 130p and im glad they stopped then. the picture below was taken the day after the operation...it's pretty small in case you don't wanna look.
-->they gave me Vicoden for the pain and it made me feel not like myself. i was drowsy and majorly out of it!! the last time i took them was Tuesday night and i've been taking Tylenol and Ibuprofen since. the swelling goes back and forth and the pain throbs every once in a while, especially when i laugh/smile. but besides that, i seem to be doing okay. tonight the chain unraveled and is now hanging from my top gums. which is sooo annoying, if i may say so myself! there's a picture of that below this paragraph.
-->so now my deal is to wait. i have to make the orthodontist appointment that will get this big ball rolling. when that will be for, well, i just dont know as of yet. so for right now i wait...on another note, let's talk about family. mine is a little hectic right now. im not gonna get into major details but i'm feeling a little confused, frustrated, upset, and just plain lost.
-->my major concern would be my grandmom. she has cancer and has been through a round of chemotherapy. her doctor has just recently told her that the chemo wasn't working or slowing anything down. so, she "made a big girl decision" (those were her words) and she just stopped the chemo altogether. i am unaware on the biggest details of all...what else the doctor said! she's not much for talking about it so i will just have to wait. we're not sure how long he told her she has or what she thinks about the whole situation. like i said, im just so lost & confused.
-->ok well now i have to go to bed before i start thinking too deeply into all these details. i will leave you with some verses that i've kept reverting back to all week and a song that i can't stop listening to!
~Sincerely,
KLM
Verses
Ecclesiastes 7:14(MSG): "On a good day, enjoy yourself; On a bad day, examine your your conscience. God arranges for both kinds of days so that we won't take anything for granted."
Colossians 4:2(NLT): "Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart."
Song of the Week (can be found on iTunes)
Title: The Motions
Artist: Matthew West
Sunday, January 11, 2009
What am i supposed to feel right now!?!
this is a blog to follow my previous blog...needless to say im still a slight mess. my mind keeps wandering and i feel so down. i know, people might say not to fall into depression and im trying, really i am! i just cant fully comprehend exactly what this past week has involved. i mean seriously tho. my family means the world to me, really they do but sometimes i just dont understand why they do some of the things they do.
i dont really know what to think about my feelings. and i truly feel like im just blabbing right now but its starting to help. i need to talk to someone that i can feel comfortable enough with to cry in front of & they won't thing im being irrational. ya, that's just what i need...someone to tell me im exaggerating.
something i do need though is sleep...i'm trying to get as much sleep as i can at night but it's not working out. im tossing and turning and i wake up in the middle of the night and i think its time to get up but then its not so i go back to sleep and before i know it, its time to get up! let's take this morning for example...i woke up at like 7a and my alarm was supposed to go off @ 820a. then, jeremy knocked on my door @ 8a and i was like "oh no!" so i got up and got ready all by 820a...how ironic!
got off 2 church by 920a and felt a little out of place(idk y). got 2 church and typed up songs but i didnt get thru them w/o crying first. ugh! some people said they were sorry for my loss...some people didnt know. some of the times i wanted to say it was ok but then again its not...i mean it is okay, its great because he's not hurting anymore. but, idk i guess im being selfish, because im gonna miss him. im gonna miss him A LOT!!
its 1116p on sunday night after the Eagles beat the Giants 23-11 (Historic Record) and im crying while eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream...yum! i have to wake up @ 715a so i can start school by 730a. i have 2 papers to write, as well as a science project to do. i have to go to the store and buy the materials though. i keep forgetting while im at the store...ugh!
i seriously have to go to bed now so there will be no weekend wrap-up but i will give you a song to check out and i will leave you with a tad bit of good news. i became a member of my church today! how kool is that?!
Song of the Day/Weekend/Week (found on playlist to the right-->)
Title: You Can Let Go
Artist: Crystal Shawanda
Album: Dawn of a New Day
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Here's More
~~here is the link to Pop's obituary from the The Daily Local News. That is Chester Co. paper. It is also in the Daily Times and the News Journal in Wilmington. This is the link to the one that has a picture online...the other one's have the picture in the paper but not online.
http://www.dailylocal.com/articles/2009/01/08/obituaries/srv0000004451366.txt
http://www.dailylocal.com/articles/2009/01/08/obituaries/srv0000004451366.txt
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The Biggest Fan i Ever Had
This is gonna be a quick blog...it actually won't be a blog at all, it's a shout out! a rather big one.
My bestfriend, father, grandfather & mentor all died on the same night. Heck, they were all the same person. It's hard to write this right now bcuz im crying but i have to do it. He was my biggest fan as i was his. We spent ALL of our time together until i moved to Clifton Heights about 3 yrs ago. We were becoming distant and i didnt like it.
In June of '08 he was having problems w/ his leg and back...he thought he just hurt himself at work. He went to Canada and got in a fender bender that increased the pain. After coming home from Canada he went to the dr's and got an MRI. The results came back and his dr told my mom to get him to the ER right away. They then told us that this pain he was having is attributed to Bone Cancer. He started undergoing Radiation right away.
He was weak and his bones became very brittle from the treatments. He was home and in the bathroom when he fell and broke his femur. He was taken to the hospital and had surgery to repair the fracture. He woke up from the anisthesia not knowing what the date was or where he was or how he got there. He kept saying that he went to Venezuela and Guatemala. This was quite significant to me because i had just gotten back from being in Guatemala on a missions trip. I had told him about 1 week earlier that i liked it so much that him and i were gonna move there when he got better.
He was released from the hospital about 2 weeks later and we decided to place him at a Skilled Nursing Facility(SKNF). This was done so Pop could do his physical therapy on a daily schedule and gain his strength back. He was stubborn and ornery and everyone that knew Pop knew that too. He did what he could but just didnt gain his strength back. He would be VERY tired all the time and sometimes he didn't know where he was but that was sporadic and rare.
We had moved him from Riddle Village in Media to Broomall Manor in Broomall. He was there Christmas Eve until the 29th of December. He was then transferred to Naaman's Manor in Concordville. We knew that was best for him. He arrived and his pulseox level was in the 70's when it is supposed to be in the 90's. He was then hospitalized until Saturday, January 3rd. On Saturday he returned to Naaman's Manor and began to get comfortable. Oh and this whole experience was full of being uncomfortable...we just couldn't find the right spot or bed or amount of pillows to make him that way. Of course, like i said before, if you knew Pop you knew that too! ;)
On Sunday I came home from my dad's house in the Poconos and went to a friend's house to watch the Eagles beat the Vikings. We hung out after the game and played some UNO. We got to talking and then i had a break so i called Pop. I called and was able to talk to Pop. My mom and sister's and Steve-O were there. I told Pop that i just called to say "HI" and see how he was doing. I told him I didn't know he had company and that I would call back tomorrow. He then said "ya, I don't have any time." We both hung up by saying "I love you."
The next day i got a call from my mom asking if i wanted to go out with her to see him. I had said no and that i was gonna ask to use the car the next day(Tuesday) to go see him. At about 230p i got a call from my sister freaking out that we had to go. I said "Go where?" she said that my Uncle Rob had called and told mom to get out there NOW! So, she came and picked me up and we headed out there. It's about 20-30 minutes away from where we live. My mom called the Manor and asked what was going on. They just said that his pulseox level was low on 4 liters. Which i knew was bad. then my uncle called again to see if we were coming and he said just to get there. I then called the Manor to see what was goin on.
The nurse said to wait a minute and that she would put my Uncle Bill on the phone. Right then, i knew something was wrong if she couldn't tell me. He said "he's gone.' I asked when and he said about 15 minutes ago. I asked if anyone was there with him and he said that just the nurse was there. He also told us not to rush and that him and my Uncle Rob were both there. I hung up the phone and looked at my mom. she automatically knew from the questions i asked on the phone. so here we are on 322 in the smallest pick-up truck ive ever seen. We're all balling our eyes out and my mom's crying, shifting, and trying to talk on the phone at the same time. Yes, i know dangerous. So we finally get there and all run inside as fast as our legs and bodies can carry us. My sister who was home because she hurt her knee at school was beating us all.
We got up there and I went in first to be with my uncles and Pop. I'm not a big crier in front of people, even family but this time i couldnt help it. Then my mom came in and then my sister and then my aunts. This was all at 245p and we didn't leave until 6p. It was sooo hard to leave. My 10 yr old sister said she didnt want to. She was just like me at her age. She didnt wanna leave him and she was his partner. My mom, on the other hand, was a mess. I mean her and Pop were so alike in so many ways it was almost obnoxious. She kept beating herself up about it because she was there all morning until 130p when she got the call from Jacqi's school that she twisted her knee. After she picked up my sister and got her situated the phone rang with the call to come out there.
Now all this time all i can think of is how he was gonna be the one to walk me down the aisle and he said that if he didnt make it that long that he would at least make it to see me graduate. Which, he didnt make either. Another thing i cant get out of my mind is how my mom had just offered to take me out there with her and i turned it down. Until i saw him on Monday, hadnt seen him since Christmas Day.
***This post is dedicated to the best man i ever knew: Pop, Poppy, Poop-Poop, Bill, Dad. Anything that he might have been called. He will forever be missed and in our hearts."
My bestfriend, father, grandfather & mentor all died on the same night. Heck, they were all the same person. It's hard to write this right now bcuz im crying but i have to do it. He was my biggest fan as i was his. We spent ALL of our time together until i moved to Clifton Heights about 3 yrs ago. We were becoming distant and i didnt like it.
In June of '08 he was having problems w/ his leg and back...he thought he just hurt himself at work. He went to Canada and got in a fender bender that increased the pain. After coming home from Canada he went to the dr's and got an MRI. The results came back and his dr told my mom to get him to the ER right away. They then told us that this pain he was having is attributed to Bone Cancer. He started undergoing Radiation right away.
He was weak and his bones became very brittle from the treatments. He was home and in the bathroom when he fell and broke his femur. He was taken to the hospital and had surgery to repair the fracture. He woke up from the anisthesia not knowing what the date was or where he was or how he got there. He kept saying that he went to Venezuela and Guatemala. This was quite significant to me because i had just gotten back from being in Guatemala on a missions trip. I had told him about 1 week earlier that i liked it so much that him and i were gonna move there when he got better.
He was released from the hospital about 2 weeks later and we decided to place him at a Skilled Nursing Facility(SKNF). This was done so Pop could do his physical therapy on a daily schedule and gain his strength back. He was stubborn and ornery and everyone that knew Pop knew that too. He did what he could but just didnt gain his strength back. He would be VERY tired all the time and sometimes he didn't know where he was but that was sporadic and rare.
We had moved him from Riddle Village in Media to Broomall Manor in Broomall. He was there Christmas Eve until the 29th of December. He was then transferred to Naaman's Manor in Concordville. We knew that was best for him. He arrived and his pulseox level was in the 70's when it is supposed to be in the 90's. He was then hospitalized until Saturday, January 3rd. On Saturday he returned to Naaman's Manor and began to get comfortable. Oh and this whole experience was full of being uncomfortable...we just couldn't find the right spot or bed or amount of pillows to make him that way. Of course, like i said before, if you knew Pop you knew that too! ;)
On Sunday I came home from my dad's house in the Poconos and went to a friend's house to watch the Eagles beat the Vikings. We hung out after the game and played some UNO. We got to talking and then i had a break so i called Pop. I called and was able to talk to Pop. My mom and sister's and Steve-O were there. I told Pop that i just called to say "HI" and see how he was doing. I told him I didn't know he had company and that I would call back tomorrow. He then said "ya, I don't have any time." We both hung up by saying "I love you."
The next day i got a call from my mom asking if i wanted to go out with her to see him. I had said no and that i was gonna ask to use the car the next day(Tuesday) to go see him. At about 230p i got a call from my sister freaking out that we had to go. I said "Go where?" she said that my Uncle Rob had called and told mom to get out there NOW! So, she came and picked me up and we headed out there. It's about 20-30 minutes away from where we live. My mom called the Manor and asked what was going on. They just said that his pulseox level was low on 4 liters. Which i knew was bad. then my uncle called again to see if we were coming and he said just to get there. I then called the Manor to see what was goin on.
The nurse said to wait a minute and that she would put my Uncle Bill on the phone. Right then, i knew something was wrong if she couldn't tell me. He said "he's gone.' I asked when and he said about 15 minutes ago. I asked if anyone was there with him and he said that just the nurse was there. He also told us not to rush and that him and my Uncle Rob were both there. I hung up the phone and looked at my mom. she automatically knew from the questions i asked on the phone. so here we are on 322 in the smallest pick-up truck ive ever seen. We're all balling our eyes out and my mom's crying, shifting, and trying to talk on the phone at the same time. Yes, i know dangerous. So we finally get there and all run inside as fast as our legs and bodies can carry us. My sister who was home because she hurt her knee at school was beating us all.
We got up there and I went in first to be with my uncles and Pop. I'm not a big crier in front of people, even family but this time i couldnt help it. Then my mom came in and then my sister and then my aunts. This was all at 245p and we didn't leave until 6p. It was sooo hard to leave. My 10 yr old sister said she didnt want to. She was just like me at her age. She didnt wanna leave him and she was his partner. My mom, on the other hand, was a mess. I mean her and Pop were so alike in so many ways it was almost obnoxious. She kept beating herself up about it because she was there all morning until 130p when she got the call from Jacqi's school that she twisted her knee. After she picked up my sister and got her situated the phone rang with the call to come out there.
Now all this time all i can think of is how he was gonna be the one to walk me down the aisle and he said that if he didnt make it that long that he would at least make it to see me graduate. Which, he didnt make either. Another thing i cant get out of my mind is how my mom had just offered to take me out there with her and i turned it down. Until i saw him on Monday, hadnt seen him since Christmas Day.
***This post is dedicated to the best man i ever knew: Pop, Poppy, Poop-Poop, Bill, Dad. Anything that he might have been called. He will forever be missed and in our hearts."
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