yea...that's what i thought

this blog is about me, obviously...duh!! to be honest, i haven't really treated it that way. ive treated it like a daily news column or an advice column of sorts. yes thats all fine and dandy but according to my post last week, i gotta be real.

my status on Gchat for a couple days has been; "confused feelings are indeed confusing."
definition: "i dont know how i feel therefore im confusing myself just trying to figure it out!!"

literally, i mean come on. i understand that the human emotions are the most in depth concepts to understand but im a pretty straight forward kinda person, except for lately that is. nothing major. nobody got in trouble or passed away; its just little stuff that's been building up. ya know, the kinda stuff that we think won't make a difference later!? well guess what?...it does!! and the sad part is we don't realize it until we're at our breaking point.

i know im not the only one that lets this happen but i just have to let it out. here's how it goes:

• Pop(grandfather) was in the hospital for Thanksgiving and now he's in a Skilled Nursing Facility(SNF)
• Gram(grandmother) is planning on not coming up from Maryland for Christmas
• my dad wants me to come up there but idk how that's gonna happen considering i dont have a car!
• im still making minimum wage @ McD's where ive been working for 2 yrs!?!?
• im supposed to take a test to get a promotion but its difficult to see that happening anytime soon because there's no training mgr.
• im still a junior in HS @ the ripe old age of 18
• i have no clue what my future looks like let alone what college imma go to

i think thats everything for right now but i feel like im bursting @ the seams. i just cant seem to find the right emotion to cover it all.

honestly, i wanna crawl under a rock like a worm and dig into the dirt and sleep for a living until some little 4 year old boy comes and digs me up to use me for bait while him and his dad go fishing. i know, i know, i know it sounds a little grim but thats how im seeing things right now.

as i feel somewhat accomplished because i have actually finished a blog in one sitting @ 1230a on a Tuesday morning, i think i can get some sleep now. oh yea did i mention its hard to do that too!?! sleep is so overrated!>! ha ha ha ya right i wish.

good nite cyber world & sweet dreams! ;)

somewhat complacent,

~Kali~