Past/Reality

IM BACK!! ya im back to reality!! ;) i'm sorry about my last post, it truly was an outrage post. i wasn't feeling myself & i was thinking about things that were totally crazy!

this week has been a bit of a doozy. last saturday night i worked as normal, came home, went to bed & woke up at 635a on sunday morning w. a wicked stomach ache! it hit me all of a sudden. then, i woke up at exactly 735a, an hour later. i couldnt believe it, exactly an hour. i promised i would be at church by 845a so i decided to just stay up. all morning in the sound booth i was wincing in pain...it was nuts.

i left church and came home, i had work at 4p. yes people i know it was a sunday and i usually dont work but i need the money and they needed help. i got home from church at about 1p and wanted to lay down but i couldnt. idk i was sooo tired and exhausted. i was home alone and there's just something about being home alone that kind of disables me. i went to work & almost didnt make it. my legs hurt like crazy and i was nauseous and dizzy all night, oh it was such a mess. all these feelings didnt go away until monday night when i was ready for bed but i was sooo glad it was over!

this week ive been mad busy: i worked monday, tuesday, wednesday, and thursday. last weekend i worked saturday and sunday so that makes 6 days in a row! i've never done that before! ;) ok so now REALLY back to reality! ha ha psych...these are my thoughts on reality.

Reality is defined in Webster's Dictionary as this: "a real event, entity, or state of affairs." i see reality as being here & now. yes, it is the fact of being real but on so many levels. reality is the time & place in where events occur. my reality is totally a major blur. i mean the past couple weeks have been pretty hazy and emotional but today just topped it all off.

i found out that Pop was back in the ER because he hasn't been eating/drinking anything. my mom says he won't even try to take care of himself. seeing and hearing that is just depressing, especially about him. Pop is the strongest guy i know, heck, he's Pop! i know he'll make it through, he always does. i mean that's reality!

then i have to realize that Gram really might not come up for Christmas! ya, how upsetting is that?? i was told that and i almost lost it, wait, i did lose it!! Gram has come up from Maryland for Christmas every year since she moved there in 1995. Now, all of a sudden, she's not coming. Now i have to ask myself: is this the start to a new reality?? a reality where things are never gonna be the way they used to be; EVER again?!?

there's some other things going on too that i would prefer not to discuss until I fully comprehend the situation myself but i will tell you that info will come shortly. its is now 12:51a on Saturday morning & i am not even tired. i will leave you now to ponder on these thoughts. well, my thoughts.

until reality finally sets in! ;)
~Kali