Sunday, January 11, 2009

What am i supposed to feel right now!?!


this is a blog to follow my previous blog...needless to say im still a slight mess. my mind keeps wandering and i feel so down. i know, people might say not to fall into depression and im trying, really i am! i just cant fully comprehend exactly what this past week has involved. i mean seriously tho. my family means the world to me, really they do but sometimes i just dont understand why they do some of the things they do.

i dont really know what to think about my feelings. and i truly feel like im just blabbing right now but its starting to help. i need to talk to someone that i can feel comfortable enough with to cry in front of & they won't thing im being irrational. ya, that's just what i need...someone to tell me im exaggerating.

something i do need though is sleep...i'm trying to get as much sleep as i can at night but it's not working out. im tossing and turning and i wake up in the middle of the night and i think its time to get up but then its not so i go back to sleep and before i know it, its time to get up! let's take this morning for example...i woke up at like 7a and my alarm was supposed to go off @ 820a. then, jeremy knocked on my door @ 8a and i was like "oh no!" so i got up and got ready all by 820a...how ironic!

got off 2 church by 920a and felt a little out of place(idk y). got 2 church and typed up songs but i didnt get thru them w/o crying first. ugh! some people said they were sorry for my loss...some people didnt know. some of the times i wanted to say it was ok but then again its not...i mean it is okay, its great because he's not hurting anymore. but, idk i guess im being selfish, because im gonna miss him. im gonna miss him A LOT!!

its 1116p on sunday night after the Eagles beat the Giants 23-11 (Historic Record) and im crying while eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream...yum! i have to wake up @ 715a so i can start school by 730a. i have 2 papers to write, as well as a science project to do. i have to go to the store and buy the materials though. i keep forgetting while im at the store...ugh!

i seriously have to go to bed now so there will be no weekend wrap-up but i will give you a song to check out and i will leave you with a tad bit of good news. i became a member of my church today! how kool is that?!

Song of the Day/Weekend/Week (found on playlist to the right-->)
Title: You Can Let Go
Artist: Crystal Shawanda
Album: Dawn of a New Day

No comments: